Childish Things

It has been quite a while since my last posting. New York is still NYC, but what has really changed is me. Emily LaShorne said something a few weekends ago that really stuck with me. We were sitting in a hookah bar and she said that she was beginning to let go of childish things. I knew that I had heard that before, but I didn't remember when. So, like any other person from this generation, I looked it up online and found the Bible verse it came from:

“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.” (I Corinthians 13:11)

Why do we have to put away those childish things? As I continue to grow into the identity of Mr. Ma, I notice more and more that I am becoming an adult. in many ways it seems that I am doing for the school and students and not because it is the next organic step for my life. It seems that suddenly, birthdays went from clowns, cake, and candy to restaurants, bars, and dress clothes without ever letting me know. It just snuck up on me and I don't think I like that.

This week, I had to ask myself why I am teaching. I am not that great at it, despite what other people might think, I am just hoping that no one finds out that I am just hanging by a prayer. I know that I am doing this because I believe that the education in the US needs help. I wanted to be a part of a movement that isn't about capital gains, but about gains toward equality. The idea that the achievement gap is our generation's civil rights era astounds me. I, on some level agree, but that is a mantle that I am not sure that I can carry.

Now, I am just ranting. The crux of my posting and week is when a teacher I really admire asked me how long I planned to teach. I would never lie to this teacher. Mr. Hiasin has a way of detecting bullshit and I do not want to mess with that man. I told him that I have always been independent and that I do things as I feel them necessary. I couldn't see myself living the rest of my life as a teacher, but I can see myself doing this for a few years. What he said next made me well with pride. He told me that as soon as he met and spoke with me, he knew that I would get my PhD and write books. That's right, books, as in plural. I have never been so honored.