Sunday, August 27, 2006

Tall Tales of the BK

Once upon a time there lived the three royals of Manhattan Valley. The first's name was Dusty Buttons, Keeper of all Things Hoodie, whose magic carpet bag held hoodies, yes, but also wine and beer. She was a beautiful artist who loved two princes, their names were Twitter and Malarkey. And she never revealed her real name to strangers, because of course, Dusty Button's was not her given name. The second's name was Fancy Nancy, Seducer of barely legal squires. Despite himself, he could not help but find his way into Dusty Button's magic carpet bag and drink her wine and beer. When he drank her magic elixirs, his eyes would twinkle a brighter blue, and unsuspecting squires could not help but look and follow his beck and call. And lastly, there was Harry Carry. He had no magic carpet bag, nor twinkling blue eyes, but he watch over Dusty and Fancy, and carried them home if they needed.

They loved their beautiful valley, and rarely left, because to do so would mean to ride the silver worm underground long distances. Though, since they were royal, the worm would rise from it's damp and musty depth to the open air platform in front of their castle. On one fateful night, they were cordially invited by Lady Hillary of the Laminal Streets of the BK, the neighboring kingdom of the Graffiti Folk. A strange folk, who told tales and ate no meat or animal by-products. They were called the Graffiti Folk because their chests and legs, hands and feet, and sometimes their faces were adorn by ink that never fades, even when they aged.

After much time agonizing in front of mirrors and clothes closets, the three royals began their journey to Lady Hillary's kingdom. The worm would have to make more than a dozen stops and travel under water to reach the BK, and to make matters worse, the usual route was blocked by the nasty Constructors. They mischievously blocked normal paths and forced the silver worm to find other ways to the BK. The three travelled underground for what felt like two nights and rode several silver worms before they found their way to Lady Hillary's kingdom.

They arrived, unscathed, and thankful, and soon found Lady Hillary. They were ushered entered into her dominion of wide streets and hipster bodegas. Her subjects came in droves and they all drank wine and beer. Everything was going swimmingly. They feasted on hummus and chips, pretzels and pasta salad, and brownies with walnuts. Everyone ate and drank their fill, and all was good in the world. Tales were told, and friendships made. One such friendship happened with twin squires named Gux and Tyler. The squires were poor young bards and favored German authors who wrote about sexual deviance. Both were new to Lady Hillary's kingdom, and had not yet been graffitied, but it was only a matter of time, for they resided in the BK, and graffiti is law. The squires were young, only 18 years old, but soon one, Gux, found a glance from Fancy Nancy's twinkling blue eyes.

A challenge was set forth, Fancy was to seduce one or both squires. He accepted and Dusty pushed Fancy over toward Gux so his eyes would twinkle into his more clearly and more bluely. At once, Fancy Nancy charmed Gux. Lady Hillary, Dusty Buttons, and Harry Carry were every amused. They laughed a great laugh at Fancy because his twinkle never failed to capture young squires.

They talked and they laughed, they ate and they drank and talked to the Graffiti Folk and the squires. The night turned to twilight, and twilight gave way to the lateness. And since time runs in circles, it became so late, it was early. The silver worm called to the three royals back to Manhattan Valley. Wine and beer were drank, and food was eaten. Very little was left, and the Dreaming was calling to the three.

Fancy then realized, he was without the squire. He was shocked, and the guests were awed. Perhaps his charm and magic did not work so far from his home. Perhaps the squires in the BK could not be affected by Fancy's twinkling eyes. Whatever the case may be, Fancy went home with no squirely bed buddy. He did however, give his number to Gux, but only after Dusty and Harry had beaconed three times, because there is no place like home, and they wished to return to the valley.

Everything returned to normal, the trip on the silver worm remained mostly uneventful. Fancy worried that his twinkling eyes were not working and began slapping Dusty Buttons and Harry Carry. The three ran throughout the platform, chasing and slapping until they could chase and slap no more. They rode home, and slept the night away, dreaming of the events that past, and more fun in their kingdom.

The End

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Ode to Dead Poets

The past two night's I have gone to the Dead Poet with my roommates and some friends. The first night we got free shots and closed the bar with the bartender. The second night, kind of the same, be we left earlier and no free shots (so basically the only commonality is that we went to Dead Poet again).

Sarah is back from Vietnam, and we are glad she is back, but her cat, Twitter, has some sort of infection on his paw... poor baby! I don' want summer to end, I just want to be free and have fun, and put pay checks into my bank account.

But all good things... Hopefully I will be having more fun this week.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Spelling Bee with B

Last night was when I said goodbye to Brianne Nicole Connelly. We got together and saw the Broadway musical "Spelling Bee." It was a laugh riot! We also got cheese cake from Junior's. Good cheese cake, you should get some next time you're in NYC. We met this mother/daughter duo going to a different show. Brianne has clearly only been talking to non-native New Yorkers because these women were straight out of SNL's "Coffee Talk with Linda Richmond." It was HI-larious. Brianne asked if they were from out of town and I wanted to say something, but kept quiet.

The older lady kept telling me that if I ever wanted to get out of teaching in such a "challenging school," to go to Long Island. No thanks... On our walk between places, I was grumpy at the tourists. Brianne thought that the tourists made NYC cool. I beg to differ, my friend.

Spelling Bee was funny and smart in a weird way. It had themes of a coming of age story with commentary on the different types of people in our society. Winning the spelling bee becomes a metaphor for success in our society and each child has an epiphany with each defeat. Funny, definitely! Smart, high possibilities.

Price of Tom's Pizza... $2.75
Price of Junior's strawberry cheese cake with two waters... $10.72
Price of tickets to "Spelling Bee"... $50.00
Price of dancing with Brianne at the 50th St. platform to a homeless singer... PRICELESS!
(Now that is some CHEESE!)

(((((Quick Rants)))))
Red grapes with seeds are gross. All natural peanut butter is fine, but not as good as the stuff with all the sugar.

Friday, August 18, 2006

How 9 glasses of wine can be the best lesson of all...

As a recovering binge drinker, (Hi, my name is Carey Ma) I think it is a necessary step in the recovery process to admit to wrongdoings. So here are my skeletons, telling a sordid tale of too much to drink while in a tie in lower Manhattan.

It all began innocently enough, TfA asked if I would lead a session for the incoming first year teachers. They asked me to do the session on the whose who and the what's what. Easy enough, I know those things. An old friend, Kim Osagie, and I had these first years eating out of our hands. We were funny, we were real, and we were full of information!

After that we rotated to a common lounge and chilled with other TfAers and chatted them up before moseying to the top floor of the Kimmel Center of NYU (it's a big deal). There, we were told, wining and dining would commence. What... check that... FREE wining and dining would commence.

My cohorts and I did indeed WINE and DINE. Delicious hors devours were served by caterers, and the wine flowed freely. Perhaps a bit too freely. I am fairly certain that 8-10 glasses were consumed by me in a 3 hour period, at least 30-45 minutes were taken up by various speeches (nothing served during that time). I also did not drink the last half hour. This leads me to conclude that in a period of about two hours, I had 9 drinks. Basically, I polished off a bottle of wine by myself.

I wish I could say that is how it ended. I harmlessly found my way home, and went to sleep. Alas, that is not the case. I went onto taking pictures with people and flirting up a storm (with a certain head administrator of a non-profit, other CM, and random people on the streets, more on that later).

After I left that situation, I found myself... at a bar. Nothing happens here, nothing I remember anyhow. I drink some water, and then we left, but not until AFTER I apparently introduce myself to a woman driving away in her car. I help her in, I close the door, then something about telling her she is beautiful. Thank the LORD I wasn't maced.

I think the most important part of all this, is that I didn't remember most of this. I had to be told it by my roommate. Additionally, this is a watered down version of the story. So let that be a lesson to all of you, my faithful readers, drinking a bottle of wine in two hours in lower Manhattan, during a fairly important event, may lead you to forget key actions you chose to take.

Peace our my friends!

Sunday, August 13, 2006

I HATE NewYorkCity on the weekends!!!

Do you ever wonder if maybe the world was against you or karma has chosen one day to shit all over your head? Today was one of those days...

- If you need to get a shower liner, don't go to the Duane Reed on 110th, or the Right Aide across the street. They have none, despite their mutual claims of great convenience for your every need. Additionally, the D'ag across the street doesn't have any either, but they do have PAPER TOILET SEAT LINERS!!!!

- Sometimes, people are hired to "help out," though who they help seems to be a mystery. These people will most likely get in your way without knowing it and cause you to knock your detergent bottle top behind all of the laundry machines. No one will help you in the way you actually want. You will be tricked into taking an old, moldy, empty bottle that has a cap. You will take this graciously, seeing no other options. You will leave the Laundromat for half an hour only to come back to find that your bottle of detergent has been thieved!!! This bottle of detergent will be new.

- Rain, the weekend, and dusk will cause public transportation to stop working correctly. You will wait for much longer than you would any other day.

- You will also be consoled by a British claymation for a short. It is about a bloke named Harvie Krumpet. Then you realize that it is claymation, and you still have to finish getting your laundry.

TOMORROW BETTER BE BETTER!

I HEART my friends!

I am back in NYC after a brief sojourn to MN. I missed it a lot and I am glad I got to go back and see my family. Now that I am back in NYC, I have had a chance to touch base with some old friends. I went out with Brianne Connelly, Zach Thwaits, and Erica Warren. It is nice seeing college friends. We have been running around NYC. They are kind of like grandmas and grandpas. Tonight, they got all tired before we even made it to the bar. Wutevah...

I got to see a bunch of people in MN that I did not expect to see. I saw Mr. and Mrs. Stowe (weird), Jason, Toby, and AB. I also got to see some regulars, and it is always a comfort to see them. Johnny, Jason, and Toby are all studying for the GRE together. I wish them well. I went out with Josh, Court, and Jason and Court prudently pointed out how our conversations had changed a lot over two years. We were talking about work, and other adult kind of things. I can see the day when our kids think that we are boring people who talk about boring things and remember boring times... Ha!

I always knew that in order to do great things, you have to surround yourself by great people. Which means any greatness I achieve is in part due to the company I keep. I feel that I choose to keep great company. Liz UB, Missy Laine, and Jon Wemette are just a few of my longest lasting friends who keep me impressed with their drive in life. I know for sure that I will be shadowed by their greatness. I am so proud of them. This fall, we will all be in different regions of the United States, all doing the things we love. Jon will be in Florida working for a theater, Missy will be in grad school in DC, and Liz will be in Seattle getting her learn on, too!

Now that their business is out there, congratulate them!

Michael and Sara are traveling. Mike is in San Fran and Sara is in Vietnam. I am glad they are my roommates, very cool people with good heads on their shoulders. I can't wait for them to be back. It has been entirely too quiet in this apartment without them. Except the cats, they are here with me in the apartment, and for their part, they are keeping me company.

Now that this Blog is out of the way, I can get back to watching the X-Men cartoon ; )